Never Be The Same Again. Chapter 3

[ahopper84]

Title: Never Be The Same Again
Chapter: 3
Pairings: Zaylor
POV: Taylor
Rating: PG-13
Warnings:
Word Count: 1920
Author's Note: I had to switch from past to present tense, so if I missed something, im sorry...

---

"Honestly, Tay. You're addicted. We haven't been back for ten minutes, and you're already on that damn thing!" I laugh as Zac stands there, shaking his head at me. I don't have a problem... really...

"Zac, just because I want to spend my free time online, doesn't mean anything. You spend every waking moment playing video games; aren't you being a bit hypocritical?" Zac sits down next to me on the bed, sipping on a Dr. Pepper and handing me a chilled can as well.

"Nope," he answers finally. "I know I'm hooked. I'm not in denial here." We laugh for a bit; it's a running debate between us. He's convinced I have a full-on addiction to the internet. And sadly, it's not that ridiculous an idea. He peers over at my laptop.

"Whatcha lookin at, anyway?" I shrug, clicking back and forth between the various tabs.

"Just a few things. Youtube, h.net, myspace, deviantArt, tumblr." Zac chuckles.

"That's a few? I'd hate to see you when you're busy." We laugh again, as I browse my Tumblr dashboard. I haven't been on in a couple of days, so I have plenty to catch up on. I stop scrolling, however, when I come across a certain picture. Although, it's the caption, more than the pic, that makes me pause.

"What's that?" Zac asks innocently, curious as to what's grabbed my attention. I turn the computer slightly towards him, mentally bracing myself. Sure enough, as soon as he reads the caption, he lets out an aggravated sigh.

"Why the hell are you looking up shit like that?" I turn to him, rolling my eyes.

"I wasn't looking for it, dumb ass. Someone I'm following reblogged it. It's not a bad picture, really," I add, taking another look. It was a shot of Zac and me from some event; either Ike wasn't there, or he was standing far enough away to be cropped out. The two of us were standing there smiling, and I remembered how good a night that'd been. I save the picture to my hard drive, despite the look on Zac's face.

"You gonna block that person?" I shoot Zac a look and shake my head.

"No, why would I do that? It was a good pic, so they reblogged it. Who cares what caption someone added?" Zac just huffs, sipping his soda, and I roll my eyes. I'm really not in the mood for this argument tonight.

"Anyway, where the hell was Ike?" I think back, trying to remember.

"I'm pretty sure he was there. He must've been just far enough away, so they could crop him out. It's really not that big a deal, Zac." He finishes his soda and stands, his posture telling me we are having this argument, whether I like it or not.

"I don't get you, Tay. How can you act like it's not a big deal? The things they say about us... How does it not make you sick?" His voice is a bit louder, and I close my eyes. I already have a headache; this is the last thing I need right now.

"Zac, please. Just forget it. It was just one picture. One stupid little caption. Please, just let it go. Please?" I don't like having to beg, but I'm tired, and this is a debate that has no end. It could go on for hours, as it has in the past. And I just don't have the energy tonight.

"Fine, whatever. I'm going down to the lobby for some snacks." Without another word Zac walks out of the hotel room, slamming the door. I wince, but shake my head and turn back to the laptop. I view the notes for the picture, finding the original poster, TeamZaylor. I laugh lightly, and click the name.

I'm not sure what made me want to browse the blog; morbid curiosity, probably. I scroll through the posts, picture after picture of Zac and myself passing my eyes. It's strange; I remember when and where most of the pictures were taken, but I never realized just how close to me Zac had been, or how often he had an hand on my shoulder, or was leaning against me.

In some, he's practically leaning his head on my shoulder. I suppose I was vaguely aware of it at the time, but I hadn't given it much thought until now. But seeing it from an outsider's point of view is a bit... unsettling. I feel a chill go through me, an uncomfortable knot forming in my stomach. I hear the door opening, and quickly close both the webpage and my laptop, my heart racing for some reason.

I look up at Zac, happily munching on a Three Musketeers bar; he eyes me curiously, and I shrug my shoulders and smile. I'm not sure why I feel so guilty, but I have a feeling he'd be pissed if he knew what I was looking at. I still can't fathom why I decided to look in the first place, and almost regret it... almost. But at the same time, curiosity is brewing, and I watch Zac carefully as he sits next to me and points the remote at the tv.

"I saw Ike; he said to make sure we're up by eight to get to the radio station in time." I nod slowly, noticing how close Zac sat next to me. I casually look over; there's at least half a foot between him and the edge of the bed. Why does that not surprise me? I stand up, running my hands up and down my thighs. I feel restless all of a sudden.

"Hey I think I'm gonna go get a snack too." Zac looks up at me, noticing my tension. Of course he does; he always notices everything. He's so tuned into my moods, I think sometimes he mistakes them for his own. I've always known that, but for some reason, it's suddenly becoming more apparent.

"You okay, man? You look a little... cagey." I shrug, pacing a bit. I nod, a bit too quickly.

"Yea, I'm fine. I think I just need some air. I might go for a walk around the block."

"You want me to come with?" I look at him quickly, already starting to get up.

"No, that's okay. I... I just need to think for a bit. No offense." Zac nods; to anyone other than me, he would've looked totally fine. But I see the tinge of hurt, before he hides it, probably before he even realizes it's there. I grab my jacket and head out into the hall, taking a slow, deep breath as soon as the door shuts behind me.

What was wrong with me? Half an hour ago, I was completely fine, and now I'm a mess. I male my way down to the lobby, staring at the shelves of sugary and salty snacks. I glance behind the counter, to the racks of cigarettes and cigars. I roll my eyes, running a hand through my hair before stepping up.

"Black and Mild. Wood tip."

Five minutes later, I'm standing outside the hotel, lighting up. I practically moan as I inhale, the familiar taste rolling across my tongue. I close my eyes as I exhale, feeling my stress drift out onto the breeze along with the curls of smoke. Feeling better already, I turn and begin walking, my pace slow and easy.

I hardly ever smoke anymore, only when I'm really stressed out. I know it's bad for my health, and for my voice, and blah blah blah. Damn it, if I want to smoke, I'll smoke. I don't do it very often, and besides, a lot of girls (and guys) find it sexy. I've always had a bit of a thing for smokers myself. Maybe I just have an oral fixation. That's not that hard to believe, really, considering my... tastes.

I round the corner, taking another drag. Those pictures messed me up more that I realized, apparently. I have to admit, there were quite a few pictures that could be taken the wrong way. I never realized just how close to me Zac always is, but now that I went snooping, there it was. How could I not have noticed?

"This is ridiculous." I'm getting all worked up for nothing. Obviously, I never noticed, because there was nothing to notice. Those pictures were just coincidences, shots taken at the wrong moment. So what if Zac likes to be close to me? We're close. I don't mind, he doesn't mind, and nobody connected to us has ever said anything about it.

I finish my cigar and my walk at the same time, feeling ten times better. This is no big deal; I'm worried over nothing. I make my way back up to the room, to find Zac still channel surfing. I toss my jacket on the chair and hop onto the bed next to him; he curls his nose, and I sigh.

"I thought you were quitting," he says quietly. There's no edge to his voice; it's just an observation. I shrug, taking the remote and flipping through the available movies.

"Eh, I did, mostly. Just once in a while, when I'm stressed out." I know as soon as I say it that I shouldn't have, not if I want to avoid any awkward conversation. It doesn't take long for him to turn and face me, concern in his eyes.

"What's wrong?" I shrug, rubbing my forehead. If I don't tell him, I know he won't let it go. I sigh heavily.

"Just... those pictures." I can practically feel Zac tense up, but he doesn't say anything, waiting for me to explain. "I just... I never noticed how close we are. Like, how close we always stand, how we're always touching... It's no big deal though. Just a bunch of lucky shots." I look at Zac finally, but I'm surprised at what I see. He's not angry, or disgusted; he looks ashamed.

"Right. No big deal, he mutters, leaning his head against the headboard. I let out another sigh. I know why he's upset. Not only do the pictures point out how close we are. They point out how close Zac is to me. They make it look like he's completely infatuated with me, something that's often brought up in our "discussions". I wrap one arm around his shoulders, pulling him against me. He stiffens at first, but relaxes as I rub his upper arm.

"Look, we are what we are. And what we are is brothers, best friends, partners in crime." That got a smile out of him finally. "So some idiots like to make up stories about us. They're the twisted ones. And it's not like anyone actually believes them anyway, right? You know they're crazy. I know they're crazy. Hell, the rest of our fans know they're crazy. So who cares? Don't let it get to you, okay?" Zac looked up at me finally, a tiny smile on his lips.

I hug him, and feel him lean his head on my shoulder. I tense up slightly, but force myself to relax. I still feel a little uneasy, but I'm not sure why. We've sat like this more times than I could possibly remember. So why am I suddenly hyper-aware of the way he sighs happily, the way he snuggles against me? I shrug it off. This is how we've always been. And it's completely normal. Right?

Comments

[stitch378.livejournal.com]

YAY!!!! excited you posted more so quickly. I like the pace this is moving at....like they are going to come to a slow realization of what they mean to each other

[imgaidragger.livejournal.com]

getting very interesting. more please. :-)

[heartturnsblue]

Okay, I LOVE the idea of Taylor on tumblr. I bet he is. Maybe he's really behind the Team Zaylor one haha.

Secondly, I want a black and mild now. Haven't had one of those since college... mmm...

On a more serious note, I love how aware they are of the weirdness of their interactions, yet they don't seem to totally realize what it means yet. I have a feeling it's going to be very fun watching them figure it out.

[bittersweet-luv.livejournal.com]

Loving this new update. I'm not surprised though that Taylor is the first to really pick up on it, given his sexual orientation. He'd just be a bit more open to it. Wonder how long the mental block in Zac's head is gonna take to tear down thou??

[myxobsessions.livejournal.com]

I am really enjoying this story so far. I like how it's starting out and can't wait to see where it goes. It makes you wonder what the boys think/say about Zaylor because you /know/ they have to of heard/seen something esp. because we do all know Tay is an internet addict! Can't wait for more.