ahopper84

Title: Never Be The Same Again
Chapter: 9
Pairings: Zaylor
POV: Taylor
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Explicit Sexual Content, Slash, Incest
Word Count: 2120
Author's Note: Okay, the blocks of italics are what Taylor is reading... hope it's not too confusing!

Here I am, sitting in my hotel room... alone... again... God, I have no life. I laugh as I remember Zac's "intervention" between me and my laptop, as I check my usual sights. It's not that I don't like to go out; on the contrary, there have been times when my brothers have to drag me out of the clubs. But I'm just not feeling it tonight.

Isaac is with his girlfriend, and Zac is at a party; he wanted me to go, but I had a headache all afternoon, and wasn't in the mood to swig cheap beer with a bunch of guys who I don't really have anything in common with. I know Zac wants us to keep some semblance of independence, too. He's done with the whole forced separation thing, thank god, but it's good for us to have our individual interests, too.

After a while, I find myself on Tumblr again, browsing the Zaylor blogs. I don't know what it is that I find so fascinating about it, but I have to admit, I'm kind of hooked. The way they can take a totally innocent moment, and pick up on the tiniest details, amazes me. And I can't help be drawn into the fictional story they weave, better than most romance novels. That makes me think...

After some research, I find myself on LiveJournal. I've been aware of Hanson fanfiction, or Hanfics as they're apparently called by those who read and write them, for ages. I remember reading a few, long ago; most of them read like a twelve-year-old's fantasy, which they essentially were. But there were a few that were actually extremely well-written, well-thought stories, with compelling characters and moving plots.

It's been years since I've looked any up, though, and I've never read any Zaylor fics. But now I'm curious. I do some searching, and find a story that catches my eye. I glance around nervously, as if someone is going to see what I'm reading. Laughing at my paranoia, I get comfortable, and start reading.

It's written from my perspective, a thought I find a bit unsettling at first. I take a deep breath. This isn't me. It's just a character, a fictional character... that just happens to share my name, physical appearance, history... I shake my head, trying to clear my thoughts. Just go with it, I think to myself.

As I begin, I'm surprised at how well it's written. It's not me, exactly, and yet it's close, very close. I can totally hear myself saying the things in the story, as I banter with Zac and Isaac about one thing or another. They're written remarkably well, too, and I laugh at moments that mimic real events, however unintentionally.

As the story progresses, I... no, Tay starts to question his feelings for Zac. It starts innocently enough, with their friendship progressing naturally to attraction. It's apparently one-sided, however, as I... Tay is too afraid to confront Zac. I smirk at the way I'm portrayed, as being sensitive, vulnerable, emotional. A bit on the girly side, perhaps, and far too accurate for comfort.

The plot takes a major turn, as Zac and Tay confront one another. I'm becoming completely drawn in by the drama, the emotions resonating deeper than I'd like to admit. We- They argue, to the point of tears, until they reach a breaking point. Tay, in an emotional outburst that has my eyes misting, confesses his love for Zac.

I realize I'm holding my breath, hanging on every word, and inwardly laugh at myself. I keep reading, totally enthralled. Zac, after some questioning, admits to having the same feelings for Tay. I let out a laugh that almost sounds like a sob, and I actually have to rub my eyes. This author is truly gifted, pulling at my heartstrings like a pro.

The story doesn't end there, though, I realize. The two share their first, tentative kiss, and I feel my breath catch in my throat. I can feel the hesitation, the careful optimism, the excitement and fear and... love. I realize I have goosebumps as I read on, the kiss progressing, deepening, heating up.

I take a deep breath, looking away from the screen. I've been reading for a couple hours, I notice. I set my laptop aside, getting up and stretching. I can tell what comes next in the story, and I'm not sure if I'm ready for that yet. I dig through my bag and pull out the half-full pack of cigarettes, pulling one loose and lighting it.

A few minutes later, I'm back on the bed, laptop on my lap. I run my fingers roughly through my hair, before looking at the screen. I can do this. It's not really Zac and me. It's just two characters. Fictional characters. I sigh heavily.

I felt myself blush as Zac broke the kiss, looking into my eyes. He was searching for something, reassurance maybe, or permission. I smiled at him, leaning forward to brush my lips against his. His lips curled up slightly, before kissing my cheek. I let out a sigh as his kisses traveled down to my neck, throwing my head back as he nipped at the skin.

I felt warm as he kissed and nibbled my neck, and wrapped my arms tightly around him. One of his hands tangled in my hair, the other moving down to hesitantly cup my ass. I let out a gasp as he massaged me, his fingertips digging through the denim of my jeans. I moved my hands to his hips, pulling him against me roughly.

It was Zac's turn to gasp as our matching erections ground against each other. He pulled his head back to look at me again, his eyes half-closed and almost black with desire. I felt dizzy as I stared, panting, still grinding against him. A moment later, and our lips were crashing together hungrily. He bit at my lower lip and I cried out, thrusting against him.

I stop for a minute, taking a few shaky breaths. This is... weird, and a little uncomfortable, and... undeniably hot. I look down at myself, and see the growing bulge in my jeans. Should I... It wouldn't be weird, right? I mean, it's just fiction. It's like watching porn. No harm in that, right? I nod my head slightly, as I ease the laptop back a few inches, undoing the button of my jeans.

It's not like it's really me and Zac, I tell myself as I slowly pull down the zipper, freeing my growing hard-on. I close my eyes, sucking in a breath as I grip myself. It's just a story. Fiction. Porn. That's all. I look back down at the laptop, stroking myself slowly as I find my place.

A few minutes later, we're on the bed, shirts abandoned, pants on their way. I've wanted this for so long. I wonder, as he kneels above me, if he knows how many times I've imagined this, being able to look at his naked body, without feeling ashamed. I look in his eyes, and see my own thoughts and feelings reflected there. Maybe he does know.

He kisses his way down my chest, his eyes never leaving mine as his hand grips me firmly. My head rolls back, my hands gripping the sheets as he finds a rhythm, slow and teasing. His mouth continues to cover every inch of my torso, working down across my stomach, his teeth nipping at my skin.

When I feel his hot breath on the head of my cock, my eyes snap back to his. I bite my lip hard as he snakes his tongue out, teasing at my slit, before descending on me. I moan shamelessly as he slowly takes me, inch by inch, until his lips are firmly pressed around the base of my shaft. I realize he hasn't looked away once, and he continues to hold my gaze as he moves up, before swallowing me again.

He finds a pace that suits him, his hands digging into my thighs. I resist the urge to buck my hips upwards, but I can't stop the rest of me from squirming. I don't know how much more of this I can take, as one hand moves over my balls, massaging gently.

Holy hell... I'm jerking myself pretty hard at this point, more aroused than I've been in a while. This is even better than porn; I love how descriptive it is. I can imagine it exactly as it's written, imagine Tay... oh who am I kidding?

I'm far too horny to think about it right now, maybe it's just how well-written the story is, but I can imagine the characters perfectly. Meaning, Zac and... me. I can practically see Zac's body, glistening with sweat; his eyes, burning into mine, heavy-lidded and dark; his mouth, those perfect lips wrapped around... around my cock... I try to keep reading, even through my lusty haze.

I cry out as his fingers brush lower, against my entrance. I moan out his name, my tone pleading, and he smirks up at me, one eyebrow raised. I almost laugh, until I feel one of his digits pressing firmly against me, the muscles giving way as he enters me. I arch my back, lifting off the bed a bit, as he pushes his finger as deep as it will go. He pulls it out slowly, before pushing it in again, a little faster this time.

After a few seconds, he adds a second digit, and I can't help moaning as he pumps them in and out, gaining speed. When he adds a third, I actually feel a tear roll down my cheek.

"Do you want me to stop?" His voice is so full of concern, and when I look down at him, his eyes are worried.

"No. Please. More." He nods once, going pack to his previous pace. When he curls his fingers slightly, I can't stop my hips from grinding against his hand. After another few minutes of this, I can't take any more.

"Zac... please."

"Please what?" I've never heard his voice this low, this full of unbridled desire, and it makes me tremble.

"Please," I whisper, another tear escaping my closed eyes as I try to form the words. "Fuck me." The next thing I feel is his lips on mine, and I throw my arms around him. He rolls us to the side, and I sit up, positioning myself over him.

"Are you sure?" I look down at him, his eyes welling up, and nod. He nods back, gently grabbing my hips as I lower myself onto him. Both of us moan loudly as I work my way down, until his hips are firmly pressed against mine. I sit still for a moment, getting used to the feeling, before beginning to move.

It doesn't take long for the passion to rise, and soon he's lifting his hips, pounding into me. I grab myself and stroke hard and fast, matching our rhythm. I feel the knot in my stomach growing, and I lean forward on my knees, balancing my weight on one arm. He grabs my ass hard, slamming into me, his eyes burning into mine.

"Zac... I'm gonna..."

"Me too... Tay... fuck... I love you!" I cry out as he thrusts one last time, shooting his seed deep into me. But it's his words that send me over the edge.

"I love you, Zac!" I resist the urge to close my eyes, instead holding his gaze as I shoot my own load between us. We both hold still for a moment, before he pulls out of me, and I collapse beside him.

"Fuck! Zac!" I cum hard, all over my hand, a few drops landing on my keyboard. It takes me a while to come down from the high, but when I do, my hands are shaking violently.

What the fuck just happened?

I clean myself up, still trembling, and light a new cigarette, needing both hands to hold the lighter steady. I smoke it in record time, before glancing nervously at my laptop. I close the website without another glance, and start pacing back and forth.

It was just a story. Fictional characters. It wasn't me, wasn't my brother.

But it was my brothers name, the one I practically screamed, as I experienced one of the most intense orgasms of my life. So, what does this mean? Am I... attracted to him? Or was it just because of the story? I never would have thought of it otherwise, right? But then, if I wasn't attracted to him, I wouldn't have gotten so turned on. I could have picture anyone. But it was him I was imagining. Zac. My little brother.

Fuck...